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Why Do The Canadian Curling Teams Hate Me?

“Do over! Do over! I forgot to let go!“

When family gatherings went on pandemic hiatus a couple years ago, our monthly game days were a casualty. To keep alive a bit of the familial bonhomie (French for trash talking), I created the SPREE contest, where we would attempt to pick event winners in three categories — SPorts, REality, Entertainment.

Unlike Codenames or Wits and Wagers, we did not have to be in the same room for this, and unlike the very fun Jackbox games, we did not have to have one person screaming that their internet connection was somehow preventing votes being counted for their weird Quiplash answers.

Theoretically, we would each have an advantage in the events we were fans of, but the fun is trying to figure out winners in things we have zero interest in. Spend 80% of your Sunday watching the NFL (the other 20% devoted to preparing snacks)? You’ll probably do well predicting which teams will reach the Super Bowl. But will you realize that Kayla T is way too emotional to be picked by Kyler, The Bachelor who grew up on a Christian dairy farm and values stability (and soft cheeses) above all else, and while Kayla S claims to share these values, she’s just “playing the game” and is really a wild party girl, and Kyler simply has to see through that, so obviously he will pick Kayla R?

With the division of interests among family members, it was very likely we would have a variety of winners.

You’d think.

The thing is, I was afraid I had too much of an advantage. Frankly, this contest is made for me, because:

1) I’m a sports fan. Not the intense fan I once was, where a Browns loss to the Steelers resulted in my punching the ceiling (that’s right, humble brag — I could jump high enough as a kid to punch the ceiling. Disclaimer— the ceiling was eight feet high and once I was fourteen that required only the extra thickness of my Converse All-Stars and a moderate stretch). But I still watch ESPN enough to have a handle on Sports.

2) I keep up with pop culture, if only to write snarky Medium stories about it.

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